Where's Steve?

A Blog Post

By: Meg Martin

This is a blog post. I wanted to make that abundantly clear, just in case you skipped over the sub and main title to get right to the good stuff. 

Not a lot of authors have the guts to tell you what you’re reading right off. In my experience it takes at least halfway through to get the “gist” of what their purpose is. And, on occasion (but more often than not), the reader doesn’t know what they have read until they’ve read it, in its entirety, and discussed with others who have also read the work, in its entirety.

Exhausting.

I think I speak for everyone, but especially myself, when I say who has the time? So I’m cutting to the chase. I’m letting you in on my intentions right off. This is a blog post. And I’ll do you one more solid – I’ll not only tell you what I’m writing, I’ll tell you why I’m writing it – so that I may post on my blog. This blog, in fact. That’s it. No sinister plans, no great thoughts, just a need to fill virtual space by any means necessary.

You might inquire why someone with no plans or thoughts or musings of any kind would have a blog in the first place, and I wouldn’t blame you. It’s a good question. One that I’ve asked Eden, the co-writer of this very blog. She is now very concerned that she has started a blog with someone with, admittedly, no plans or thoughts or musings. So here I am, filling space to ease her worries. 

What’s more, if I can keep this up – if I can toss together a pointless word salad of dull nothingness every once in a while – people might get the impression that I have plans and thoughts and musings. “Oh that Meg, she must have a lot of opinions, she posts on her blog regularly” they’ll say. What fools. They’ll never actually know. It’ll be our little secret. And besides, isn’t it better for people to think you have thoughts than to have actually thought them? You reap all the social benefits with none of the pesky neuronal drawbacks. One could theoretically collect a plethora of metadata around the assumption that they are interesting, but no actual data. No actual proof, no actual thought, just proof of thought. What a ruse. I bet no one else has ever thought the thought that actively not thinking any thoughts might in fact convince people that you do, in fact, think thoughts.

Yes, I think not thinking will suit me quite well.